Married, gay or dead, or theyre out having drinks with women who are 35.

Thats what the women 60 and over are telling me.

After I wrote about one womans failed efforts to get men to attend a speed-dating event for singles over 60, I heard from nearly 300 lovelorn readers.

Barbara wrote: We, the single women in our 60s are doomed!!! As one of my male neighbors told me, when the funeral home was taking his wife out the front door, women with casseroles were coming in the back door. Maybe Ill just get a dog.Patricia wrote: Trying to find a man over 60 is like trying to find a good bullpen. Theyre out there, but not in Cleveland.

But dozens of single men said they, too, are lonely. They wonder where all the women are.

Jerry lost his wife of 34 years. Its a strange and different world out there, he wrote.

Michael wrote: Heres one 60+ unmarried, retired male with no children who would love to meet these women. I have the same sort of bad luck meeting eligible women that these women claim to have in meeting men.

Men complained about women who give up on sex after 60. They offered the old joke, What do you call women who dont want sex? Divorced.

Mike, who is 71, wrote: Healthy men are hard-wired for sex. This is entirely different from women, who can virtually be sexual camels. To further complicate matters, have you looked at some of these women? I dont want to be unkind, but, a great majority of them are significantly obese, certainly not a turn-on for any healthy male. Of course, I wont deny that many men fall into the same category.

Sam, who is 65, still wants to enjoy sex. Thats part of the reason why men over 60 date much younger women. When youre over 60 your days are running out quickly, so why not enjoy sex as long as you can?

Most men said they want nothing to do with speed dating. Dave, who is 65, said he feels hes being inspected. Most men dont like putting themselves out there to be judged.

Bob wrote: Many of the divorced women I met spent much of the time talking about how rotten their husband was and, obliquely, what pigs men are. I really dont want to try to change someones view of an entire gender. If Im a pig, tell me. But dont tell me about all the other pigs in the world.

Many of the widows I met wanted to talk for hours about how hard their husbands last illness was and how much they learned to hate taking care of sick men. I learned not to cough or show weakness during these monologues. I still have room in my heart, not for a replacement, but for someone entirely new.

Ralph, a 67-year-old widower, wrote: My wife passed away four years ago after being married 41 years. As a man, I dont like the idea of sitting at a table and being questioned by women. I dont want to be questioned to see if I am worthy of anything.

Don, who is 75, wrote: My wife of 51 years died a year and half ago and I dont feel like just sitting and waiting to die. The first woman in my new life chased me with all sorts of promises. They seem to watch the soaps, Oprah and Dr. Phil to the point where after two dates you must move to the next level — sleeping together. I keep reading about all the women looking for someone to share things with, but where are they hiding?

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